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The dream wasn’t pleasant but then they rarely were. Blood and bodies and death. She still remembered little of her life before her death but she’d killed enough people then that she had plenty of fodder for dark dreams. Though there always seemed to be more bodies in her dreams. Deaths and faces she didn’t remember killing. Sometimes it was hard to tell which were real and which weren’t.
She was small in this dream. Faceless people sat around a table with her, they were four in number, a curious scene but it didn’t last. Between one moment and the next shadows were all around, she could hear screams, smell the blood, saw the bodies drop. She fought like a wildcat against the shadows but then there were chains on her, a collar, more darkness. None of it made much sense to her but she was dreaming, it didn’t have too, she was trapped in its grip regardless.
A severed hand falling to the ground. An old man among the shadows with a flashing blade, making them bleed, shouting for a girl. So she did but she couldn’t get the chains off. She was bigger now, in that way of dreams, the collar was tight, choking her now as she tried to keep running. The howling of the shadows behind her and in front of her but she couldn’t breath.
Her heart thrummed in her chest like a humming bird’s. Her muscles tightening until they finally jerked and she awoke. Her first breath was a gasp as she sat up, her fingers going to her throat as she dragged in another breath. Her eyes a little wild as the dream faded and she took in surroundings that weren’t in anyway familiar. Out of one nightmare and into… what? Where was she?
Matt could admit this wasn't ideal living conditions. The safe houses were never meant to house people, not for long anyway. There were a few couchess, a kitchen area, armour and weapons lining the walls. Stands of armour all around the room, weapon racks with more blades than Matt would ever use in his life. It was a storage house, all it was. But it was undisclosed, and safe. For the time being that's all that mattered for them. They could heal, and recover.
Matt sat in a lone wooden chair in the middle of the room. No table, nothing to rest a drink on. It was just a chair, surrounded by a rack of weapons and some armour stands. Though he didn't mind, he could sense where they were. He didn't have to look at them either. They were just there. Though the worst part was the fact that he could still taste the iron of the blood on the blades. That wouldn't go away, no matter how much you cleaned it. He knew it was there.
There was a room off to the side. It had been cleared out, enough to put a cot in there. Even then it still had weapons on the walls and a stand or armour in the corner. This was where he had left Elektra to sleep. Besides the main room and that one there was one other. It was locked, and he was told not to enter. He had no intention to. There was no need to snoop. He wasn't here to look into Maya.
Focusing on Elektra in the other room he heard her begin to wake. Her heart racing, the way she breathed. She was having a nightmare. He hadn't seen it in her before but he knew the symptoms well enough. Not from personal experience, but from when Foggy would sleep at his desk. Waking in a panick. He knew this sleep pattern wasn't regular for Elektra, at least no as long as he'd known her.
Moving to the door he opened it slightly. "I heard you wake. Are you alright." He held a coffee cup in his hand as he took a sip. It was disposable, from the shop down the street. He didn't even know if their were appliances in the apartmnet here. It really was bare essentials. He looked to Elektra, facing towards where she was. "Nightmare?"
Wherever this was, they weren’t concerned with her arming herself. Her eyes slid over the bare walls, noting the supplies in the room’s dim light before the door started to open. Astute ones here, weren’t they? Knowing she had woken up already. Should she grab a weapon, she thought she was fast enough but did she even need to bother? She didn’t need a blade to kill someone.
The head that poked through the door gave her thoughts pause as her heart clenched tightly in her chest and she exhaled surprise and shock and more then a little relief. ”So that part wasn’t a dream…” Unless this was still all part of a larger dream. She dug a nail into her thigh under the blanket, out of sight. No, not a dream, that was real pain.
Tossing the blanket back she swung her legs over the side of the cot. She looked down at her bandaged feet for a moment. They ached, in that way that made them feel larger then they were but mostly they itched. Not that she was going to pay them any mind or let that stop her from getting up. ”I’m fine.” A little pain was nothing. Her body was just a weapon, one to be used until it broke. She wasn’t allowed to be soft. Hadn’t that been what life had taught her? First with the Chaste and then with the Hand?
She might not remember all of her previous life but her training and experiences with the Hand hadn’t been all that different from her time with the Chaste. Both had trained her to kill, as a weapon that they could point in what ever direction they wished. Both had tried to tie her to them with false filial strings, using words of endearment with no actual feelings behind them. And both had threatened to kill her when she hadn’t performed as she was told.
”Where am I? And what do you want with me?” Her head was clear now though her body was disheveled. Between fights, boats and sleep her hair was a tangle and she still only wore the tank top and tights she’d been found in. She allowed herself one moment of indulgence and wistfully thought of a toothbrush and shower before pushing herself up to her feet.
"Not a dream no. We're both alive. Free from the Hand." For now at least. Matt was sure of that part. They weren't being followed, hadn't been any incidents. If the Hand were planning something though he would be ready. Maya was on quick contact. He could also contact Jess, Luke, and Danny if needed. Though he didn't my think it would come to that. Elektra was safe, able to rest. Wether she wanted to stay here or move on her own, he wouldn't stop her.
Matt focused on her wounds as she moved. "Do you need your bandages changed. There was medical supplies I found in a corner. Pain killers. Don't think they are expired." They smelt fine, but he couldn't read the label. He knew she would say no. Same way he would have said no. It was who they were. They didn't show weakness, not from something like that. They stayed strong, but on a brace face, even when they didn't have to.
"You're in one of Echo's safehouses. Hell's Kitchen, Manhatten." It was fitting to hide out here. There was a lot of history here. "We brought you here after freeing you from the Hand's facility in New Jersey." He looked to her, still going over the second question she asked. What did he want with her. It was troubling to him. He didn't want anything, not in the way the Hand and the Chaste did. He wanted her to be safe, to do what she wished. Free will, no more control.
"Do I really need to answer that? You know who I am Elektra. You know I don't want anything." He leaned on the door frame. "You had said you remembered, do you still?" There was a lot of missing pieces. He could tell that. He stared straight ahead, just above her. "I lost you once, I can't loose you again."
Matt moved closer to her. He stopped as he got close though. All that history, it was all gone. He didn't know if she would remember it again, or if it was gone. If he could help her to remember he would. But he didn't think he had a chance. There was always new memories. And he meant what he said. He didn't want loose her again. He would follow her, where ever she wanted to go.
Both alive. In spite of what she had done. She didn’t want to think about that though. She’d thought about that night more then enough in the past few months while she thought he had died there. Right now was what mattered, and finding out what was planned for her this time. She had to keep her emotions close to her chest…
”I’m fine.” She repeated. They probably could be changed, if only to make sure things were still clean and dry but she wasn’t sure she trusted anything enough for that vulnerability just yet. She’d just woken up. She didn’t even know if it would be a fight to get out of this room. She certainly wasn’t going to be taking any drugs offered. Not after the loops her head had been put through lately.
”Echo?” They’d called the woman Maya, introduced her under that name and later she’d heard her called the Red Knight. ”Your new friend? Is she alright?” Maya meant nothing to her but Red Knight, that title had meaning. She’d listened a lot during her time with the Hand and the Red Knight and her antics had come up once. Matthew’s standards in friends had gone down hill since his near death. Had his stance on killing changed too? Or perhaps he hadn’t heard the rumors.
Her head jerked in his direction. ”Yes!” The word forceful and concise. ”You’ll have to forgive me if life’s lesson’s have taught me that all I am for everyone is a weapon. To be used and controlled.” She bit the words off with a hard and bitter tone as she looked away. ”To expect nothing but lies.” Over and over again, her whole life.
Pressing her hands to face, she ran them up, her fingers moving through the tangles of hair. Even her own head had betrayed her. ”Yes..” This time it was quieter, less certain. Her hands dropped and she turned her face to look at him again, to really let herself look at him. ”Some. I don’t know how much is real. Its like the context is missing. Or the order of it all.” She let her defenses down just a little. He had answers, he could fill in those blanks but could she trust his version of things?
Matt nodded. She was fine, he could tell that part was at least true. She wasn't in pain by the looks of it. Delirious maybe, confused, Matt got that part. He wouldn't push anything or force anything. Not right now. That wasn't supposed to be how it went. He didn't want her to feel pressured in anyway. This was about her getting better and coming into who she was again. Who she was supposed to be. Not who she was forced to be.
"Yes, Echo, Maya, my friend. I don't know how she is. I didn't contact her. That's how her and I work. When needed, that's it. I assume she's recovering. Healing." It wasn't like he could really text her. Looking at his screen it was just blank. Nothing. He didn't text, voice to text didn't work well either. He would wait until Maya contacted him in person. If she needed anything he didn't think she would hesitate to reach out. He was a patient man, he wasn't looking to rush anything else.
Matt continued to lean on the door. "You know better Elektra, or you used to. I don't want anything. I never wanted anything. Right now I want you to heal and get better." He was here if she needed anything. But he wanted to make sure she got rest, felt safe. Though if she wanted to go elsewhere, do something else, he wouldn't stop her. "I wouldn't lie to you. There's nothing for me to control." He had no use for what she typically did. His methods were different. He acted different. Less intent to kill or harm.
Pushing off the farm of the door Matt smiled with a nod. "There's coffee on. I had Claire grab a change of clothes they will fit." One thing about enhanced senses, you knew what fit someone. Despite his own wardrobe being disheveled and messy. He knew what someone liked. Expensive materials smelt different, felt differnet. This wasn't that. Just a clean pair of clothes from a department store. He didn't exactly have money to spend. "There's a shower in the bathroom off of the bedroom. It's well stocked with medical supplies if you change your mind about the bandages."
Stepping out of the room he let Elektra get changed and cleaned, wake up a bit. But before he did he stopped and looked back to her. "I don't want to fight you. I don't want to use you. I want you to make your own decisions. You want to run, walk out the door. Do it. No one is going to stop you."
”She’s not here?” Elektra frowned, dredging up those foggy memories from the night before. She hadn’t been clear headed but she did see that knife sticking out of the woman’s ribs and the generous splash of blood over the back of the car. Her injuries hadn’t been anything to shrug off. Unless this woman with her many names was a faster healer then most. It wasn’t her problem though. She didn’t even known the woman right? Just because she was supposed to didn’t make the facts change. And it wasn’t like she had any control right now anyway.
”Everyone wants something.” she whispered. She was calm again at least. The little spurt of anger had faded, almost nothing really. Even if a person didn’t want a personal assassin, they still wanted something. It was human nature. To be happy. To be safe. Not to be alone. Simpler wants but they still counted. Or she hoped they did.
Coffee, shower, fresh clothes that would be enough for now. He was right, she needed to wake up or at least find where her center was here. She woke in a panic and had been fighting on her own for so long, defense was her automatic response. She needed to find her own reset button.
Matthew, after everything she had done (and that was only what she could remember!) he was still there for her. Had come back to help her. He could have walked away, maybe he should have. Her hand came up, her fingers flexing as she started to reach for him but he was already turning away and she lost her nerve. Her hand dropped back to her side and she instead went to check out the shower situation.
The shower was when the pain came. Fresh wounds, hot water and soap. No way to keep her feet out of it or even get off them, this wasn’t a large shower with a bench seat. But she felt better afterwards. More human. Showers always seemed to have that magical effect. She took her time cleaning up and re-bandaging the cuts on her feet, taking care of wounds wasn’t new to her. She didn’t even complain about the lack of style in the clothes, there hadn’t exactly been any party dresses while she was with the Hand. They were clean, that was what mattered. By the time she ventured out of what constituted the bedroom she felt… Better. Not great. Not her old self. Maybe not even completely sane but she felt steadier. It was a start.
She paused after coming out the door, her eyes glancing over the room and making an assessment before she walked over to him. Nothing more then a chair in here, which brought up a question. ”Did you get any rest Matthew?” The man was a glutton for punish it seemed, he’d probably tried sleeping in that chair. And now, where was that coffee and was there any food? She was starving.
Matt watched Elektra walk out. She had cleaned up, that was good. While she was he had taken the time to set the coffee he paid for on the counter. One for her, and the one he had drinken. The apartment was lacking lots appliances. He wasn't even sure it had a fridge. It had medical supplies though. And weapons. Not that it served him much use. Not right now at least. He focused on Elektra before him, the apartment suited a space to recover, the intention of why they were here.
"I slept enough." He did, on the metal folding chair in the centre of the room, two hours, plenty of sleep. More than he got most nights. It had been a late night, but he still awoke everyday at the same time, wether he worked that night or not. Right now he was on guard, he was keeping check of the area, checking for movement on the stairs and the streets around the building. It was all clear. He couldn't afford to sleep for long when he had to keep watch. The Hand could be approaching any moment. It was safe, but for how long?
"Maya isn't here. I don't know where she is. She may pop in today to check on us, or she may take a day to rest from her wounds. I don't control what she does. I don't follow up on her." Instead he just trusted her. She had shown no reason not to so far. Maya only wanted Elektra safe the same way he did. Maybe for a different reason, but a goal remained the same. Matt looked forward, reaching for the paper cup of coffee for a sip.
"How about you? How did you sleep? Enough rest?" he knew it wasn't exactly comfortable. A hard cot, rough blankets. It wasn't ideal at all. He didn't enjoy it but beggars couldn't be choosers. He needed a place in Hell's Kitchen to rest, this was that. His welcome without Jessica lasts three days, he didn't want to place any more burden there. Maya had safe houses to spare, it made sense to call this one home base for now. Until he could get his own back.
Roof access, large neon lights across the window. Unfinished kitchen, but floor space. It wasn't expensive, but it wasn't cheap either. It was New York, but a lawyer with money from a childhood accident afforded it easily enough. He needed to get it back. Even if the Hand knew it existed it was something he could live with. They would find out where he or Elektra were staying anyway. They were the Hand, that's what they did.
Matt leaned on the counter. "I'm sorry." He spoke lower, swirling the coffee cup in his hand. "What happened. It's because of me. All of it."
Coffee was appreciated but not all that she would have wished for. Like a toothbrush. But she supposed coffee was at least better then nothing, even if it didn’t make her teeth feel any less fuzzy. She came forward and picked up the cup he set out for her. Taking a sip she made a small appreciative noise before focusing back on him.
”Enough? I’d argue that counselor since you look like shit.” No reason to mince words. Not that she hadn’t done similar before, pulling those long nights and rough weeks. The difference was she felt she probably took better care of herself between the moments of emergency then he did. But then the emergency wasn’t over yet was it? They wouldn’t give her up that easily. Not after all the resources they had put into making her.
She would admit to herself a certain curiosity about the woman and not just because she was someone that she know. The tidbit she’d heard about the Red Knight’s reputation had been intriguing all on its own. Someone that might have bloodier hands then her was someone she might want to know and keep tabs on just out of professional self-preservation.
No, a cot wasn’t the most comfortable accommodations. It didn’t really compare to the luxury that Gao had tried to appease her in the house where they had found her but she wasn’t going to complain. ”Yes.” She was clear headed, her thoughts her own and her strings cut for the first time in a long time. She’d sleep on a cot for that. ”Thank you.”
This whole exchange felt awkward and she supposed that was expected. Suspicious of each other, though maybe not in the obvious way. When he apologized though she frowned, that was a rather broad statement. ”All of it? My death? The Hand? This was all because of some Catholic guilt of yours?” She sighed, changed what she was going to say. ”They told me it was your fault you know. They said you let me die, left me to that fate. But you said it was them. That they took me from you.” She set her cup down, twisted it on the counter so she could see the cups various sides, it was just something to do with her hands. ”I don’t remember it myself, that night… its not there… But I do remember being under Midland Circle when it collapsed. That you wouldn’t have been there if it wasn’t for me.”
She let go of the cup and with a bracing breath she closed the distance between them. Slipping her arms around him she hugged him, tight like she wasn’t planning on letting go. ”I’m sorry. I’m so glad you’re alive.” She couldn’t hear his heart beat from across the room but she could hear it now with her cheek pressed against him and she relaxed as if that was the one piece of confirmation she had been missing. ”I… didn’t handle your death well..”
"It was a long night, but I got enough rest. Someone had to watch the door." He didn't exactly watch the door. He sat on the roof, scanning the streets around them. The sewers, the building up and down. He didn't sleep much. But he didn't need it. He didn't sleep much as it was. "I think we can both agree looking like shit is the least of our worries. I was never one to sleep much anyway.," How could you sleep when Daredevil took over your nights. He took over all the hours of the day. But that had become normal now.
"Yes all of. I was reckless. I let them take your life. I didn't stop them from taking you. If I had been faster, none of this may have happened." It all may have turned out differently. Stick could be alive. They wouldn't have even needed to free her. If he had just been quicker and. It let her die on that rooftop. He beat himself up about it, more than he probably should. He threw away a part of himself after that. Daredevil was the one who failed, he didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve to be the hero if he was just going to fail.
"It was my fault. We were going agaisnt the Hand. Nobu was going to kill me. You redirected his blade into yourself. You gave your life for me. It should have been me taking the blade, I should have died that night. Midland Circle was a redemption. Though I would have done it again. I would have came down for you, again and again. That wouldn't have change." He felt her come closer, her arms around him. He didn't say anything at first, going silent.
His arms went around her, pulling her close. He held her, not saying anything, just taking the moment in. He breath leaving her lips, her heart beat. The scent of her hair agaisnt his chest. He focused on her, nothing else. Just her. "I'm glad you're alive too. I couldn't loose you, it killed a part of me. You were a part of who I was, who'd I become." He focused on her, taking a deep breath. Savouring the moment as if it would end any minute now. As if she would be ripped away again.
"I'm here. I'm alive, we both are. And I'm not going anywhere. I'm here." He held her closer. He meant it, he wasn't going anywhere, he wasn't leaving. Where she went he would follow. He wouldn't loose her again. Not again.
He’d taken the watch. Watched over her, them. He wasn’t being foolish now and letting his guard down. Just because this was a safe house didn’t mean it was safe and now they were enjoying the waiting game. She hated the waiting. They would come but when? Gao was a patient woman. She could afford to be at her age. But she was only one finger of the Hand.
Hearing him confess his faults in what had happened actually put her a little at ease. He wasn’t trying to hide his guilt; she’d appreciate that more when she finally remembered what happened for herself but for now she only had her gut feelings to go by as she connected the dots between them and his words. The Hand lied but their sorts of lies were often like the ones she’d used herself. Tearing apart the truth and reweaving the lie from the pieces you wanted, discarding the rest.
Taking the blade meant for him, so her love wasn’t a lie. She didn’t feel like she would have done that for anyone else. She wasn’t that sort of person, selfless. As complicated as things might be she didn’t doubt that feeling. She just wished she fully understood how she felt about that. Still, they hadn’t needed to be under that building. That was on her and though it hadn’t cost him his actual life, it had cost him a life. ”Everyone I fought.. They fought to kill me, stop me… You were the only one that fought to save me. I wish I had realized that sooner.” It meant something, it meant something to her.
She shuddered in his arms, just a small tremor rolling through her spine. She wasn’t a crier and she wasn’t going to start now but she felt that tightness in her chest, that ache in her throat. She didn’t like it, this uncomfortable feeling of things. ”Everything was darker without you. I didn’t care though. I wanted to make everyone else hurt. Hurt like I was hurting.” She had been vicious, reckless. That was the real trouble Gao had been having with her. Matthew made her want to be better but without him there had been nothing stopping her from falling into that worst part of herself. It was shameful to admit it.
”I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have believed them. I didn’t, not really. Not until I saw your obituary in the paper. I knew you wouldn’t give up being Matt Murdock if you had a choice. I know how much that life meant to you.” She hadn’t always realized how important that was, his lawyerly life and friends. But how could she have? She’d stayed away so long she might as well have been a stranger when it came to knowing about his life during the day. And she’d still been following another’s orders as well.
Pressing her forehead against his shoulder she inhaled the scent of his skin. She’d missed that, without even knowing she had, she remembered it now though. She wasn’t letting him go again. She’d done that once. She tried to promise herself that she would learn from past mistakes if only they could stay like this, where they belonged. By each other’s side. Lifting her head she looked up at him and managed a small smile. Her eyes were wet but she hadn’t let a single tear fall. ”We are.”
Matt held her close, "As long as you realize that now. I don't want to kill you. I've never wanted to. I've always known you were in there, the one I was willing to throw it all away for. You may not have always believed but, but I saw it. I saw what no one else did." He ran a hand down the side of her cheek. Softly, as he kept his focus on her.
He could taste the salt of the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes, hear the choke in her throat. The shudder of her spine. He held her closer, feeling her forehead against his shoulder, his chest resting on the top of her head. He held her with no intent to let go right now. He had just lost her twice, he didn't want to loose her yet again. He couldn't.
"It doesn't have to be dark anymore. Never again. I'm here, I can help. We can work through this." He ran a finger down her cheek again. "You don't have to hurt anymore. I don't want you to hurt ever again." It was a large statement, but he meant it. He didn't want her to hurt, no emotionally, or physically. She didn't have to kill or harm others, not with him. Not again. He was going to be here for her, through it all.
"I didn't have a choice. But I would give it up. Give it up for you. In a heart beat. You want to run to Spain, Paris. Matt Murdock can stay here, we could go anywhere. As long as we are together." Matt Murdock meant a lot to him, it's who he was. He was raised to be a good man, but also a fighter. Battling Jack Murdock, the name hit home hard. He didn't think he could ever give up being a Murdock. It's who he was at this point. Who he would always be. But he didn't have to use the name, he didn't have to stay in New York, he could go anywhere. As long as he was with her.
As she lifted her head he looked down at her, through rose tinted glasses. He smiled, "Alive together." He brought her face closer to his own, pulling her in so their lips could meet. A soft touching gesture, unlike the raw energy that fuelled their last embrace at Midland Circle. This one was filled with something greater than raw energy, it was filled with compassion. Heartfelt compassion.
Her heart clenched, like a fist squeezing it and giving her stomach a lurch along with her pulse as she heard his words. How had he managed to stay so good in all the mess of this life? How come she’d never been able to gain even an ounce of that sort of faith? Had she ever possessed even half his light? It didn’t feel like it, it felt like she’d been doomed from birth. But he wanted her, he believed in her. That had to count for something right?
”Are you starting to make promises now?” She tried to inject a note of humor into the question but her voice was strained, her throat still choking on the emotions that wanted to boil out. She wasn’t going to be able to take much more. She’d been conditioned that emotions were to be used, not to let them run all over her. Just being this vulnerable and honest hurt, it was a struggle. ”You know you shouldn’t.” Shouldn’t make ones you couldn’t keep, that’s what was always said.
Him in Spain or Paris? Her lips quirked. Had he ever even been on a plane? There were many things she could show him around the world, things she could describe to him. He’d never even experienced her home. It felt like a silly dream though. They would be running. ”Are you serious?” Give it all up. If he would, how could she do any less? ”Even after everything I’ve done?” She’d make it up to him though. Matt Murdock didn’t have to be dead. Would he be as quick to start jet setting if he had that tie to this city back?
Straightened up a little, pulling one arm from around him while still holding tight with the other. She smoothed her fingers across the front of his shirt, as if pressing away wrinkles under his collarbone. ”You’re not going to turn me away again, if I make a mistake? No matter how hard people try they still make mistakes Matthew.. Especially while learning..” She’d tried to give up everything for him once, in one grand desperate hope only to have her heart crushed the first time she made a mistake. Even if it had been to save his life. And over all her memories of him, of them, the strings between them had gone back and forth so much she didn’t know how much faith she could have that it wouldn’t be yanked back. No, he really shouldn’t make any promises because no one could hurt her as bad as he could.
”I like the sound of that. Together.” Her hand slid up, finding the back of his neck as they brushed their lips together, like offering a promise of her own. No matter what, she’d have this moment. This new memory, even if it eventually turned bitter. It was sweet right now. ”So now what do we do?” As high a cloud as he might be for her, she wasn’t forgetting reality just yet but she was hopeful. Maybe, just this once, the fates would let her keep something good in her life.
As the kiss was broken Matt smiled. He kept his forehead pressed to hers. He didn't say anything, just lived in the moment. He was happy, she was back, she was here. They were together, not apart. It was how it was supposed to be. Together agaisnt whatever came next. It was fitting, after being torn apart again and again they were together. For once they could decided what would come next. Whatver they wanted. And right now he just wanted to be here with her.
"I won't turn you away. Not again. I shouldn't have before. But I wasn't thinking right." He had been angry at the time, it wasn't not who he was. To get revenge like that. Though since then they'd both grown. They'd both changed how they were. For better and worse both. They had changed who they were and would keep changing. Adapting.
"I can't promise anything. But I can try. We both can try. I know that we deserve to try and make something work, whatever it is. I was serious, I'd be willing to give it all up for you. Where ever you run, I run with you." He meant it. They could go anywhere. Maybe not right away but when she was healed and it was safe they could head anywhere. He would follow her, they could make it work. Whatever they decided on.
Matt kissed the top of her head. "I won't turn you away, Not matter how many mistakes you make. I hope you will do the same. We can work together, help each other so we don't make mistakes. Help each other learn." He smiled again, as he looked to where she was. On the topic of what to do now he just pulled away, though his hand still reached for hers.
"Well there's a coffee shop down the way, but I don't think we should leave anytime soon. Not until he are sure it is safe. At least not together. You need to rest, to get better. But when you're ready we can leave. I assume Maya will reach out to us and we can decide what we do from here." He looked away. "Until then though we can do whatever you want. What do you want? Right now?" Hs smiled and turned back to her.
He hadn't planned this far. Though they could find ways to keep themselves occupied. Resting and healing should be priority, as well as some security. Then they could work at starting over for both of them. Work at picking up where they left, and growing. It wouldn't be easy but they could work towards it together.
She smiled as well, letting herself do so simple because she felt like it here, with him. Maybe things could be better. More honest. No orders or grand plans to play her part in. One thing was certain, and it was a little scary to realize, that if she messed things up again it would be entirely her fault this time. No blaming it on someone else’s plan that made her do it. This was all on her. Was she ready? She was shit at honesty and niceness.
They’d find out. Her hands wouldn’t stay clean. They never did. Would he be able to stick by that when she’d taken another life? When the instincts that had been drilled into her for so long took over and she went past the boundary line? She’d try, she wanted to try. She wasn’t lying about that. She hadn’t been lying about it last year. But just because an addict wanted to get clean didn’t mean they still didn’t enjoy the drug, crave it.
”Yeah? Maybe I’ll get to you Greece finally.” she teased, rocking in his arms a little. ”Or should we start with a shorter hop? Make sure you don’t panic?” For a boy that had never been off this crowded island, travelling would be something entirely new. Had even been on a plane? Might have to make sure there was plenty of booze available for that first flight.
She held him tighter for another moment, listening to the steady beat of his heart for a few more thumps. ”Ok, alright.” They’d try and make it work. Make it work better this time. Maybe they had failed enough to learn the right lessons this time.
Twining her fingers with his, reluctant to give up all contact just yet. ”Anything I want as long as its in this room?” She made an amused sound in her throat. ”Now that’s not leading at all Matthew.” considering the sparse the accommodations..
”Actually, I was starting to wonder who I needed to bribe to get some food and a foot rest around here.” Most of the tension and suspicion had drained away from her. It was Matthew, she could trust him. And more, she didn’t have to pretend to be steel around him. He already knew she was strong and he knew that just because she needed rest, or had a soft moment, it didn’t make her weak. She could admit just how tender her feet were right now. ”And maybe I will take one of the pain killers now.” She let a wince show on her face as she shifted her weight on her feet.
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