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DAILY BUGLE

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Jan 14 2018, 03:57 AM

HULK BUSTED BY MILITARY MIGHT

By J. Jonah Jameson

NEW YORK--Greenport, a small town along the coast of Long Island, found itself a warzone yesterday afternoon, the victim of yet another Hulk ravaging. Sources state that the Hulk, unsighted since 2015, had smuggled back into the US under the false name 'David Bannon' and had been living in Greenport since mid August. Witness accounts also reported sightings of Steve Rogers, a war criminal and well-known accomplice of the Hulk. When the Hulk went berserk, Rogers allegedly escaped.

An emergency US military squad were on scene ten minutes later, led by veteran and decorated war hero, Thaddeus Ross. Ross engaged the Hulk directly, a bold strategy that allowed his task force to subdue the green monstrosity with minimal damages and no casualties. However, for his daring heroism, Ross suffered critical injuries and was flown to hospital. His status is still unknown.

The Hulk will remain imprisoned on a high-security military base until his trial date. The date has yet to be determined, but capital punishment is all but guaranteed.

Since the incident, the government claims its woefully inadequate 'task forces' have doubled down on the search for Rogers. While taxpayers' dollars are wasted on sheltering his green-skinned co-conspirator from the winter cold, Greenporters are left with a debt of hundreds of thousands of dollars in property damage. Until these villains are finally brought to justice, innocent citizens will continue to suffer the consequences of their crimes.
    Jan 11 2018, 04:46 PM

    ALCHEMAX CHAOS UNEXPECTEDLY RESOLVED

    By Mary Jane Watson
      NEW YORK -- It was early evening when the calls started to pour into 911, alerting authorities and law enforcement about a possible dire situation at the Alchemax East Facility. When NYPD arrived at the scene, they could confirm an ongoing hostage situation involving several armed men and a small number of repeat offenders, well-known to the police.

      With as many as fifty-four hostages confirmed, the NYPD was faced with a dire and difficult situation, the priority being to assure the safety of the victims inside the facility, all of whom have been confirmed afterwards to be Alchemax employees.

      Only twenty minutes after the NYPD arrival on the scene, things took an unexpected turn upon the addition of the well-known crime-stopper Spider-Man. Even though no one else was seen entering the building, security footage has confirmed at least three more enhanced individuals, all of whom seemingly worked together to prevent the situation from escalating.

      After what seems to have been an intense fight, the hostages came flooding out at the front, all accounted for and unharmed. The NYPD could then enter the building and apprehend everyone involved, including the four minds who orchestrated the operation.

      As for the group of heroes that turned the tables this night, their aliases remains at large still unknown, except for Spider-Man and who appears to have been New Jersey's Ms Marvel. Are we seeing a new generations of heroes on the rise, perhaps some young Avengers? Whoever they are, New York City is safer because of their effort, and fifty-four people have returned home safely.
    Dec 29 2017, 02:43 PM

    LEFT IN THE DARK BY STARK

    By Mary Jane Watson
      It's been almost four months since the UN and the United States government uncovered the Sokovia Accords Registration Act, a worldwide regulation for anyone with extraordinary ability or power. From the start, the UN has made it clear that the bill pertained to enhanced and mutants alike and since its launch, there have been plenty of opinions and unrest regarding this new approach, to no one's surprise.

      Ever since the incident in Lagos, Nigeria, billionaire and Avenger Tony Stark has been a known supporter of the Accords, but he has yet to give some sort of statement regarding his thoughts about these trackers. Up until recently, we've been lead to believe that these devices are schematics produced within the United Nations, but uncovered documents now tell us that the inventor and instigator is none other than Tony Stark.

      A representative from the UN has been able to shed some light on the matter and explains: "Yes, Mr Stark approached us with this initiative earlier this year and it was successfully made an addendum to the registration act. We're very happy with this." The question that remains is of course why Tony Stark did not make this publicly known already from the start? After all, the man we know as Iron Man, is hardly familiar with the concept of tact.
    Dec 5 2017, 05:42 PM

    STARK EXPO'S FAILURE EXPOSED

    By J. Jonah Jameson
      NEW YORK -- Violate. Mutilate. Annihilate. What was promised to be an exhibition of ingenuity and innovation has degenerated into predictable Stark-sponsored mayhem. Pro-mutant terrorists descended upon the Expo during the keynote presentation, attacking all three pavilions and assaulting a group of peaceful protesters outside the grounds.

      Sokovia Accords task force agents were on scene, using their so-called 'enhanced' abilities to quell a supposedly malevolent robot (again, Stark-sponsored) instead of evacuating the terrified taxpayers who fund their extraneous escapades. Other enhanced individuals who failed to secure the safety of several civilians include Iron Man, King T'Challa of Wakanda, and Spider-Man, the latter whom is a dangerous vigilante and remains at large. The attacks were finally suppressed upon the arrival of military support, and the surviving terrorists have been detained.

      Stark Industries has yet to make a public statement to take responsibility for this travesty. CEO Virginia Potts is conveniently comatose, while Tony Stark adamantly and consciously avoids the media. The pro-mutant terrorists have shown the world the callous lengths they're willing to go to prove themselves superior to humans. Will we let ourselves be dominated, or will we fight back?
    Oct 4 2017, 03:04 PM

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